Upset me lerh -_-

Recently, I am quite upset. I have no creative thinking at all (maybe I never have one). I feel that my job is munching my creative. Darius just avoid me from thinking… My job just make me lazy to think. It was probably the first time people (my boss) said to the work I have done looks carp and cheap. I can say nothing because it looks very bad! But I feel that, if I keep working with him , such kind of shit will still coming. I feel extremely sad that I have to follow his mind to work… he have no any sense of beauty honestly. Honestly he is a very nice guy but I really can’t work with him. I am thinking, maybe that is my problem, Am I really unable to work with others? I start thinking in a weird way….~~ maybe that’s the thinking of people who lost their confidence….

I was trying hard to do a lot of exercises but still don’t feel very good. I swim a lot but still very slow, I play crappy basketball… it seems that I am very untalented in sport lerh…. Also I can’t really communicate with others in English lerh… what a shame… I do need to speak more… but I really don’t interested in talking to those people I know… I really need to meet more design people….

I have nothing in my mind… I am empty and dry… has it ever being filled up, I really can’t remember. So upset lerh~~ I think I do need to read more books and doing something more thinking exercise…

I m physically very satisfy. I can eat whatever I want, I have not much desire to buy things… I am happy with the house I am living… BUT I am still living with in pain… am I thinking too much?

I do need to do something with it!!! I do need a target to archive..!

mmmm think postive!!! otherwise, my whole mind will be munched....